I was reading through Deuteronomy recently and as I read this chapter I felt the Lord speak to me. Since I can remember I have cried to the Lord on my bed at night asking what is the purpose of the trials that I have to constantly endure. We all have trials and crisis in life which come and go but I have had this one tormentous burden that just won't ever ease up.  I have believed in my heart that God would use the experiences of my life for His purpose and that one day I would see the positive outcome of those trials, but as the days go by that expectation seems to diminish.

But God is faithful, even when I am faithless and He encouraged me with the words in Deuteronomy 8. I discovered that the 'reason' for my trials is not simply to gain 'experience' that would enable me to be used by God. It became clear to me that God is more concerned about my relationship with Him and my eternal destiny than He is about being able to use me for His purpose. He is well able to raise up others in my stead if I fall short (Luke 3:8). But the truth is, if I am completely focused on my faithfulness toward God then I won't fall short.  

The whole chapter of Deuteronomy 8 is about remembering the Lord your God.
God knows the heart of men. God knew that as soon as the Israelites entered the promised land and became comfortable and secure that they would quickly forget the provision of their God in delivering them out of the hand of Pharoh and seeing them through the trials of the wilderness.

God's aim in leading Isreal through the wildrenss for 40 years was to humble them and test them, to know what was in their heart, whether they would keep His commandments or not. The sad things is that they were tested and failed, time and time again. But God in His faithfulness brought them into the land that He promised their forefathers. 

So whats the moral of this chapter? Does it say to me that even though I continue to disobey Gods commandments and continue to wallow in my sin that God will bring me into the promised land for those who trust in Him? Or does it tell me that God loves me so much that He is willing to teach me and keep me through my reliance on Him and His provision in my life, so that I will see that my faithfulness to His Word, and my remembrance of Him is paramount to entering His rest?

This is such a beautiful and encouraging chapter. God loves me so much that He is willing to forfeit my temporal luxury, my freedom of thought and my security in the things of this world, so that I will always be with Him. But it's not all bad, as it may seem to some. God is telling me that I have never been alone and that He has purposed things to be this way to bring me closer to Him. He has provided, He has susatained, He has delivered and He has comforted. I have been forced into a place where all I can rely on is Him.

God knows the heart of men, that we are evil. God knows that had I been left to live a lukewarm life of Christianity enjoying the pleasures of the world and at liberty to entertain the thoughts of this world, I would never enter His rest.
 
So...
Instead of grieving over my tourturous state of mind, I should rejoice and embrace the trail that I have been placed in knowing that it is for the deliverance of my soul.